Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world — and the one for which you might feel the least prepared. Here are some parenting tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
** It is up to each mom and dad to follow this tips or not.
** All of the tips of the list come from different education experts, Colegio Yaocalli is just sharing them.
1. Let your kids fail.
To learn self-sufficiency, kids need to occasionally dust themselves off (literally and figuratively) without your help. "Most parents know what their children are capable of but step in to make things easier for them," says Sheri Noga, the author of Have the Guts to Do It Right: Raising Grateful and Responsible Children in an Era of Indulgence. Before you rush in to help with any physical task, ask yourself: "Is my child in real danger?" Then think about whether your child has the necessary skills (dexterity and balance) or not. Yes? Time to back off and see what happens.
2. Abide by the three rules of homework.
This is a clear three-step process that kids can internalize, so there's less nagging from you.
Rule number one: Do the hardest thing first.
Rule number two: Put away the phone. Homework time can't be totally tech-free, but it can at least be free of text messages. An appropriate study place is equally important for providing an atmosphere where children will learn efficiently.
Rule number three: As soon as assignments are finished, load up the backpack for tomorrow and place it by the door.
Parents should always take an enthusiastic and positive interest in their children's schoolwork and learning. It makes a great difference to them!
3. Memorize the acronym H.A.L.T.
Tantrums often happen because your kid is Hungry, Agitated, Lonely, or Tired.
4. Plan not-so-random acts of kindness.
Kids need to know that helping others is an everyday practice, not a visit-a-soup-kitchen-at-the-holidays grand gesture. Challenge yours to complete small tasks every week.Training your children to focus on others helps curb entitlement. "Gratitude becomes woven into who they are," says Jeffrey J. Froh, a coauthor of Making Grateful Kids.
5. Be strict about bedtime.
A study published in 2013 in the journal Pediatrics found that seven-year-olds who had irregular bedtimes had more behavioral problems than did those with consistent bedtimes. And the longer the lack of a strict bedtime went on, the worse the problems became. If you work outside the home, it's tempting to keep kids up to have more time with them. But as much as possible, stay the course—even if that means you sometimes miss lights out. "We all make sacrifices," says Heather Taylor, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Morrissey-Compton Educational Center, in Redwood City, California. "Call or video-chat to say good night. Just be part of the routine."
6. Teach your child to love reading.
Helping your children to enjoy reading is one of the most important things you can do as a parent and well worth the investment of your time and energy. Kids who read for pleasure excel academically—not only in language arts but, as recent research from the Institute of Education, in London, found, in math as well.
7. Don't pay your kids to clean their rooms.
"If you give them a buck to make their beds, then when you ask them to help you carry in the groceries, they'll say, 'How much? Why would I do that for free when you pay me to make my bed?'" says author and parenting expert Alyson Schafer. You can give your child an allowance as an introduction to money management, but don't tie it to everyday chores.
Keep allowences and chores separate. Research suggests that external rewards can actually lower intrinsic motivation and performance. With chores, psychologists say that money can lessen a child´s motivation to help, turning an altruistic act into a business transaction.
It´s better not to give incentives such as money for doing chores that contribute to the household. Try instead to give children the idea that helping out makes you happy and makes them an important part of the family.
8. Model brave behavior.
Want confident kids? They will be less likely to be easily flustered if they see you taking healthy risks.
Rule number three: As soon as assignments are finished, load up the backpack for tomorrow and place it by the door.
Parents should always take an enthusiastic and positive interest in their children's schoolwork and learning. It makes a great difference to them!
3. Memorize the acronym H.A.L.T.
Tantrums often happen because your kid is Hungry, Agitated, Lonely, or Tired.
4. Plan not-so-random acts of kindness.
Kids need to know that helping others is an everyday practice, not a visit-a-soup-kitchen-at-the-holidays grand gesture. Challenge yours to complete small tasks every week.Training your children to focus on others helps curb entitlement. "Gratitude becomes woven into who they are," says Jeffrey J. Froh, a coauthor of Making Grateful Kids.
5. Be strict about bedtime.
A study published in 2013 in the journal Pediatrics found that seven-year-olds who had irregular bedtimes had more behavioral problems than did those with consistent bedtimes. And the longer the lack of a strict bedtime went on, the worse the problems became. If you work outside the home, it's tempting to keep kids up to have more time with them. But as much as possible, stay the course—even if that means you sometimes miss lights out. "We all make sacrifices," says Heather Taylor, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Morrissey-Compton Educational Center, in Redwood City, California. "Call or video-chat to say good night. Just be part of the routine."
6. Teach your child to love reading.
Helping your children to enjoy reading is one of the most important things you can do as a parent and well worth the investment of your time and energy. Kids who read for pleasure excel academically—not only in language arts but, as recent research from the Institute of Education, in London, found, in math as well.
7. Don't pay your kids to clean their rooms.
"If you give them a buck to make their beds, then when you ask them to help you carry in the groceries, they'll say, 'How much? Why would I do that for free when you pay me to make my bed?'" says author and parenting expert Alyson Schafer. You can give your child an allowance as an introduction to money management, but don't tie it to everyday chores.
Keep allowences and chores separate. Research suggests that external rewards can actually lower intrinsic motivation and performance. With chores, psychologists say that money can lessen a child´s motivation to help, turning an altruistic act into a business transaction.
It´s better not to give incentives such as money for doing chores that contribute to the household. Try instead to give children the idea that helping out makes you happy and makes them an important part of the family.
8. Model brave behavior.
Want confident kids? They will be less likely to be easily flustered if they see you taking healthy risks.
Children look to others for guidance on how to respond in unfamiliar situations. They usually watch for cues from their parents and use these cues to help determine if the situation is safe or not. If the parent’s response is fearful or anxious, the child’s response is also likely to be fearful or anxious.
Although it is important for parents to model appropriate cautionary and safety behaviors when appropriate, it is important for parents to act as confident and brave role models as well. If a parent is overly anxious and over-protective, this anxiety can be easily communicated to a child with the accompanying message that the world is too dangerous. As well, the child also receives the message that he is incapable.
Parents need to acknowledge and understand their own anxieties and make an effort to contain them when appropriate in the presence of their children. Sometimes, parents need to act brave even if they don’t feel brave. An important and helpful message for an anxious child to receive from a parent is that the parent has confidence both in the child and in the situation.
9. Repeat: I am not a short-order cook.
"It's a child's job to learn to eat what the parents eat," says Ellyn Satter, a registered dietitian and the author of Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family.
Wouldn’t it be nice and easy if everyone in the family enjoyed the same foods, and wanted the same thing for dinner each and every night? As a parent trying to juggle work and family responsibilities, mealtime can be a time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company, or it can be a trying time as you attempt to please everyone. Add to the mix a child who is a very picky eater and you may end up making several different meals to accommodate everyone’s request. It may be fish for you and your partner, chicken nuggets for your 7 year old, and macaroni and cheese for your 4 year old. STOP! It does not have to be this way, nor should it. As a parent, you have a responsibility to make sure that your children eat healthy and balanced meals. As tempting as it may be to make different, easy dishes to please everyone, this is actually doing your children a disservice. You may be surprised to learn that your children actually like “adult” foods and, even if they don’t, they can learn to adjust.
10. Pay attention at age 13.
Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection.
11. Tackle fears with common sense.
In the ideal situation, an infant's world is framed by parental security and a sense of calm. Anything that disrupts that -- a loud noise or a stranger, for example -- creates fear, says Chansky. One simple thing you can do to maintain calm is to establish a predictable routine. Also, minimize the numbers of caretakers in your child's life. Strong bonding with your child -- through regular touch, eye contact, and talking or singing -- creates a foundation of trust, helping to inoculate your child against future anxiety, too.
If she's scared of dogs, don't hustle her across the street when one is coming. Demystify the fear. ("Oh, a puppy! Let's ask the owner if we can feel how soft his fur is.") In tense moments—shots come to mind—be sympathetic but not too emotional, says Atlanta-area pediatrician Roy Benaroch.
12. To get little kids to be quiet, lower your voice instead of raising it.
This forces kids to focus.
When you’re arguing with your child shouting might confuse him and make things worse. Instead, try this: The louder he gets, the softer the tone you use to respond. That demonstrates that raising your voice isn’t the way to solve problems.
13. Put on your own oxygen mask first.
In other words, take care of yourself or you can't be a fully engaged parent. Parents who deprive themselves of rest, food, and fun for the sake of their kids do no one a favor. "People feel guilty when they work a lot, so they want to give all their free time to their kids," says Fred Stocker, a child psychiatrist at the University of Louisville School of Medicine, in Kentucky. "But you risk getting squeezed dry and emotionally exhausted." A spa weekend may not be realistic, but it's OK to take 15 minutes for a bath after you walk in the door.
Try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you're burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person (or as a couple).
Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
References- external links:
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/
http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/category/parenting/
http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/how-to-be-a-parent/parenting/#ixzz3s0766KzT
http://counselingcollaborative.com/i-am-not-a-short-order-cook/
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/childhood-fears-anxieties
http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/kids-parenting
https://www.understood.org/en/family/taking-care-of-yourself/dealing-with-emotions/8-alternatives-to-raising-your-voice-with-your-child
http://www.readingrockets.org/article/getting-your-child-love-reading
http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/category/parenting
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions
Although it is important for parents to model appropriate cautionary and safety behaviors when appropriate, it is important for parents to act as confident and brave role models as well. If a parent is overly anxious and over-protective, this anxiety can be easily communicated to a child with the accompanying message that the world is too dangerous. As well, the child also receives the message that he is incapable.
Parents need to acknowledge and understand their own anxieties and make an effort to contain them when appropriate in the presence of their children. Sometimes, parents need to act brave even if they don’t feel brave. An important and helpful message for an anxious child to receive from a parent is that the parent has confidence both in the child and in the situation.
9. Repeat: I am not a short-order cook.
"It's a child's job to learn to eat what the parents eat," says Ellyn Satter, a registered dietitian and the author of Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family.
Wouldn’t it be nice and easy if everyone in the family enjoyed the same foods, and wanted the same thing for dinner each and every night? As a parent trying to juggle work and family responsibilities, mealtime can be a time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company, or it can be a trying time as you attempt to please everyone. Add to the mix a child who is a very picky eater and you may end up making several different meals to accommodate everyone’s request. It may be fish for you and your partner, chicken nuggets for your 7 year old, and macaroni and cheese for your 4 year old. STOP! It does not have to be this way, nor should it. As a parent, you have a responsibility to make sure that your children eat healthy and balanced meals. As tempting as it may be to make different, easy dishes to please everyone, this is actually doing your children a disservice. You may be surprised to learn that your children actually like “adult” foods and, even if they don’t, they can learn to adjust.
10. Pay attention at age 13.
Teens tend to look less to their parents and more to their peers for role models. But continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while allowing your teen to earn more independence. And seize every available moment to make a connection.
In the ideal situation, an infant's world is framed by parental security and a sense of calm. Anything that disrupts that -- a loud noise or a stranger, for example -- creates fear, says Chansky. One simple thing you can do to maintain calm is to establish a predictable routine. Also, minimize the numbers of caretakers in your child's life. Strong bonding with your child -- through regular touch, eye contact, and talking or singing -- creates a foundation of trust, helping to inoculate your child against future anxiety, too.
If she's scared of dogs, don't hustle her across the street when one is coming. Demystify the fear. ("Oh, a puppy! Let's ask the owner if we can feel how soft his fur is.") In tense moments—shots come to mind—be sympathetic but not too emotional, says Atlanta-area pediatrician Roy Benaroch.
12. To get little kids to be quiet, lower your voice instead of raising it.
This forces kids to focus.
When you’re arguing with your child shouting might confuse him and make things worse. Instead, try this: The louder he gets, the softer the tone you use to respond. That demonstrates that raising your voice isn’t the way to solve problems.
13. Put on your own oxygen mask first.
In other words, take care of yourself or you can't be a fully engaged parent. Parents who deprive themselves of rest, food, and fun for the sake of their kids do no one a favor. "People feel guilty when they work a lot, so they want to give all their free time to their kids," says Fred Stocker, a child psychiatrist at the University of Louisville School of Medicine, in Kentucky. "But you risk getting squeezed dry and emotionally exhausted." A spa weekend may not be realistic, but it's OK to take 15 minutes for a bath after you walk in the door.
Try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit it when you're burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you happy as a person (or as a couple).
Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model for your children.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
References- external links:
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/
http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/category/parenting/
http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/how-to-be-a-parent/parenting/#ixzz3s0766KzT
http://counselingcollaborative.com/i-am-not-a-short-order-cook/
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/childhood-fears-anxieties
http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/family/kids-parenting
https://www.understood.org/en/family/taking-care-of-yourself/dealing-with-emotions/8-alternatives-to-raising-your-voice-with-your-child
http://www.readingrockets.org/article/getting-your-child-love-reading
http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/category/parenting
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions
